The Newcomer's Welcome: What brings you to Village?

welcome
newcomer

#122

Thank you for sharing @jfh and welcome! I understand the struggle. My boyfriend has been battling heroin/opiate addiction for over 10 years and it’s really difficult to see someone you love turn into a completely different person. It can be really draining and exhausting. For a while, I fell into a deep depression because I felt stuck and had no idea what to do, how to handle things, and what I can do to move forward. I started going to Al-Anon meetings and found myself a counselor because every time I tried talking to friends or family, they just didn’t understand and it made me feel even more isolated. I started following support groups for loved ones of addicts on every avenue I could find whether it was through social media or some other forum. It was so comforting for me to talk to other people who understood what I was going through. The support, reading their stories and similar experiences, and encouraging advice made me feel so much less alone.

One thing I found extremely helpful is to set boundaries and stick to them. My boyfriend can be extremely manipulative when he is actively using. The more I allow him to take advantage of my home, my money, etc., the more it enables him and continue actively using. One of the boundaries I set was if he is actively using and does not plan on getting help, then he cannot live with me. I always made sure to remind him that I love him but when it starts to negatively impact my mental health, I cannot allow him to be around me. This also ensures that you are taking care of yourself first and be the best support you can be when he is ready to get help, if you choose to stay in the relationship.

Just my two cents. I hope this helps. Good luck and there is hope, it can get better!


#124

Welcome here @jfh! I think you’ll find that you’re in a safe space - most of us have been through or are going through a similar hell, and there are lots of other concerned wives and partners to connect with. Maybe @Msyoung69 @polly @vetti @Kjordon89?!


#125

Friends! I tried to record you a fun #WelcomeWednesday video only to be bamboozled by the platform, so here’s fun screenshot of me talking (plus other thumbnails of my face - which is your favorite? :rofl:) so you at least get the idea…

I want to extend a VERY WARM WELCOME to the 23 new members who joined the Community this week: @Notyou @raybeccca @Vinicius_Canuto @Vivek @jfh @Brittany_Brittany @Carlo @Brittany_Brittany @Carlo @marybieter @delongwayhome @Laaurrrren @Treehugger @HexKattykat @Luke12 @Adammassie89 @Alice1 @apisapia322 @Spirit725 @Jamer @Chris @Ljohanson @Jonnyd @Rivkah @p_dewey

Newcomers, we’d love if you took a minute to say “Hi!” on this thread. And existing members, we’d love if you took a minute to greet our newcomers and tell them what you appreciate about Village!

It’s exciting to see our Community grow week over week! :raised_hands:t4:


#126

Hi @Katie :slight_smile: thanks for the warm welcome. I look forward to getting to know people in the community and I hope some of my past can help people who presently have a relationship/relationships with an addict. Or is an addict. My heart really holds a special place in this area. Thank you for accepting me in to the forum. Namaste <3


#127

@p_dewey So happy you are here! Let us know the ways we can help you best :slight_smile:


#128

Happy (belated) #WelcomeWednesday!! :tada:

This past week we welcomed 19 new members into the Community - @Rivkah @p_dewey @Hisham @Sarao @Mcml @lizziec @Lizzie_Cruz @Kim1 @Fraser @Mathi @Carrie1027 @Liz_Dem-Mer @FA1TH @Sheila @Bumpkin88 @Tammy55 @risarenee @Sharonburtwocn @Suse @scout - and have enjoyed some really awesome dialogue already!

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help!


#130

Hi.

I’m Jay and I’m from Boston. My recovery date is October 4, 2009. I cam to the Village after they reached out to me on Instagram and asked if I’d join.


#129

Welcome, everyone, to the Community! We are so pleased to have some new voices <3


#131

Welcome here @Jay. Congratulations on almost 10 years! :tada: We’re thankful for the unique perspective & guidance you have to offer to those who care about people who struggle/d with substance use.


#132

My husband is a recovering addict. I learned about his drub abuse early on in our relationship, before we were even married, but at the time it seemed manageable. Like many opioid addictions, he started off with painkillers and eventually moved on to heroin. He used for a summer before we got married. He got clean on his own and stayed clean for 8 years with the help of Suboxone. He started using again about a year and a half after our son was born. After a rough few years that have included lies, betrayal, confusion, pain, ultimatums, rehab, IOPs, relapses, slips, AA, HA, Al-Anon, group counseling, individual therapy, couples therapy, yoga, and a whole lot of surrender and soul-searching… we are in a good place. My husband is a recovering addict. And after searching for stories similar to mine - other spouses of heroin addicts to whom I could relate - and coming up short, I decided to start sharing my own story. There is power and hope and strength in our stories. I’m here to to share, and to recover, and to hopefully help break the stigma of addiction. Thank you for this space. <3


#133

Welcome and we’re so happy to have you here @momentsandlight! You have certainly been through it and I hope you find that you’re not alone here at Village. Thank you for being willing to share the power, hope, and strength from your own story to help others and help yourself as well.

This is magic :orange_heart::dizzy::


#134

Thank you for being here @momentsandlight!


#135

Extending a very warm #WednesdayWelcome to our 16 new members this week: @Jewel @xxcarolyn @Leftenant @bryb @MamaHnyBns @Jay @anonymous14 @IAMWORTHY @momentsandlight @Bohogirl @CharlieHorse @CourtneyMae86 @Amy_Sellitti @vcj11 @Audray_Gollinger @kalialyssa!

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help! :sun_with_face:


#136

Hi everyone I’m Courtney. My boyfriend of four years is a recovering Heroin addict. With four years together there has been relapse, rehabs, jails and just a whole lot of craziness. We share a two year old son together. Today he stands with a year and a half clean. He has grown so much. We have so much yet to work on. But It’s kind of scary. When he does well im like constantly nervous for things to just get crazy again. Because that’s what happened the last time. I just didn’t see it coming. I didn’t expect it. I know this isn’t in our control. But I tell myself, maybe if you paid more attention to the signs that i would’ve been able to help prevent it. I just have that fear every day of relapse. Im afraid to just get comfortable with things going well, god forbid he were to pick up again and for the craziness to begin. It’s something I’m working on. Im excited to have this site come my way. It’s something I totally needed and I plan to use it fully.


#137

So glad you’re here with us @CourtneyMae86 <3


#138

Looks like my #WednesdayWelcome post from last week didn’t actually post :face_with_monocle: soooo THIS WEEK I’m extra excited to publically welcome the 36 new members who have joined us in the past fourteen days: @anonymous15 @Audray_Gollinger @kalialyssa @Louise9 @AreaMan @Oldenufftoknowbetter @Sobermom @nurseanm @Butters @mommylove44ever @Jamtart @Liveandletlive @Babsy @ksrhdsg7 @Kinserjl @sydneyg12 @Khatsie @Kimcat68 @nikki92394 @AMD @anonymous16 @LMP @Kapua @ACSC101 @ProudMommy0808 @Andrea @Michsheyx @Shaelee26 @Bigp1970 @Lisa @Ada_Wu @anonymous17 @Cassie @annabelle @Joinblack @Gimmiefood @Janelle_Parkinson

Friends, if you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added honestly makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help! ::sun_with_face:


#140

I have been there. My boyfriend slipped recently after 1.5 years clean but he responded by going right back to working on his recovery. I was so afraid he was just going to go back to using like he’s done in the past but this time was different. I understand that fear and the lack of trust you feel! I hope this community will help you feel less alone. I’m glad to know that there are so many others that know what I’m going through :slight_smile:


#139

Hi! I’m happy to be here. My spouse is in in-patient for a few more weeks and I’m mostly looking to glean imformation on what to expect when he returns and how I can support his sobriety while protecting my boundaries. After 7 years of lies, 2 failed outpatient rehabs and reaching my “get help or get out” point - I’m cautiously optimistic, but guarded.
I find myself surfing the questions and responses lookimg for answers.


#141

Welcome here @LMP! Wondering if you might find some helpful info on this post, and any questions that it raises for you, please hit that big pink ‘Ask Question!’ Lots of people here eager to help. :relaxed:


#144

How are things going @LMP ? <3 sending the good vibes your way!