The Newcomer's Welcome: What brings you to Village?

welcome
newcomer

#103

I am here to look for advice regarding an old friend. I recently found she was a heroin addict. She is very far away from me but does talk or text me recently every day. She was homeless, recently started staying with a friend. (A friend of hers who went to rehab and got clean.) She is trying to be clean, has used, but has told me it was weeks ago. I do believe she is doing better, she did get out of a toxic relationship. She does talk to me about a lot of personal things going on with her. I want to believe she is well and getting sober. Sometimes I don’t know. I joined to get advice, about what a person may act like or feel like going through withdrawals like that. And what I should look out for. Thanks


#101

@ChristineInrig I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I am sending you my deepest condolences. On the other hand, that is incredible to hear about your boyfriend! We are so glad you joined the community. Let us know how we can help you the most <3


#104

Hey @Tryingtohelp, welcome here and thanks for sharing! Your friend is lucky to have you! Take a look around the site and see if any posts can give you information you’re looking for, and if not, feel free to post a question! Glad you found us :hugs:


#105

Squeezing an enormous #WednesdayWelcome into our final hour of the day (at least, Eastern time) to 23 new members this week: @Lucimara @Marissa_Palamaras @Jbadon @ChristineInrig @JaneDoeandme @emerald13 @dearestolive @Amber_Apple @Klott32 @Guri @Tabi @LRose @Bryan0110 @Criss_Paulsen_Hender @Whatevwr @shellym269 @Donecoaching @Sasygal22 @Philw1617 @MKJ @Heavendreamer @Heatherbether @Floffer

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help. :tada:


#106

Hello! My name is Shelly and I am here because my husband suffers from addiction. As you all know, that puts me on a difficult spot. One of the hardest things about it is feeling so alone. People who haven’t been there don’t understand, therefore there’s alot of criticism and condemnation. I am looking forward to having communication with me there who do understand.


#107

The new year has my brain a little bit scattered and I’ve realized right now that today is Thursday not Wednesday… so while I missed our normal #WednesdayWelcome, my excitement for the 7 new members who joined us this past week has not been forgotten!

Welcome here @Sherree_Lott @Elizabeth_Golen-John @elmir @anonymous7 @Audrey @Charlene_Mackie @Dariablue! :tada:

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help…


#108

It’s #WelcomeWednesday!

We’re so grateful to welcome 21 newcomers into the Community in the last seven days: @3517 @Bohogirl @soberissexy19 @Dymond001 @Dancewithsobriety @anonymous8 @Skmx1 @Kat @jenaperers @Lwood525 @Kate_Patterson @ghaditayeh @rmcguppy @Fairy2002 @Jsolt @Lala @Lyoung1902 @Legitscript @Hopefollowsme @Birch_Quabec @hsbrooks

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added makes this place a more valuable resource for all.

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help. :tada:


#111

Happy Saturday! I am here to get help in MY recovery from my alcoholic sister. In the short time I have been on this website, I have felt a small blanket started to be lifted off my chest. Like the alcoholic, it is going to take a concentrated EFFORT to reclaim myself from the destruction that has gripped me these past few years.

I am grateful for this forum that we can access 24/7.


#113

I’m here to seek support as I’ve been pulled into
Some pretty isolating patterns and those patterns need to be changed.


#112

Accessibility when it comes to mental health resources is SO important, and something that is so personally meaningful to me as well. So glad you’re a part of the community @dbfbilly1! :slight_smile:


#114

Welcome @Emkawa I hear ya on the isolating patterns. I’ve been there too, glad we’ve connected here.


#115

We’re so glad you’re here @Emkawa! :two_hearts:


#116

Hi everybody, I originally joined the Village community to offer some advice as my boyfriend is a recovering heroin addict and we have been through quite the journey together for almost 3 years. I have learned A LOT about addiction and learned how I can be the best support for him and love him without enabling. He went to rehab, got the help he needed, and moved in with me last summer. He was doing really well and all his friends were even telling me that this is the best they have ever seen him as he has struggled with addiction for more than 10 years. Something that concerned me for a while was that he slowly stopped going to meetings but I was glad that he was still keeping in touch with his rehab friends for accountability.

I was pretty hesitant about joining the Village but I was pushed to join sooner as I caught my boyfriend using a few days ago. He had been doing so well… he had been clean for 18 months which is the longest he has ever been clean. He told me he had only used 2-3 other times because he had been stressed about finances and the holidays. He also has a really bad back that causes him a lot of pain. I tried my best to react out of love and not anger. It was extremely disappointing and I am hurt once again because he broke my trust. We talked for a long time and came to the agreement that he will go to a meeting every day for the next 30 days, find an extracurricular activity/hobby, and talk to a doctor about his back.

I’ve gone through relapses with him before but this one felt a little different because he admitted right away and talked to me about coming up with a plan to keep him from using again. It’s hard to believe anything he says when he’s using but I was glad that he didn’t get defensive and run off like he has done in the past. He admitted right away so I’m hoping this is just a little slip-up along his road to long term recovery. I am really stressing about this whole situation. I know recovery isn’t perfect but it is still hard because I’m not sure if his mind is really in the right place. I’m afraid that he’ll just go back to using full-time again.

Anyways, that was a much longer post than I planned on but I hope somebody else can relate and offer any advice.


#123

Welcome @Emkawa! I hope that you’ll find a lot of support here. I’ve only been on here for a few days and I am already feeling a sense of community and hope just being here. I hope that you find that too!


#117

I have so been there on this one! Mind if I post as a question so we can make sure people see it and post back? <3


#118

@jane Not at all! Please share wherever needed. I would like more responses if possible :slight_smile:


#119

You know what’s so exciting for me?!!

Welcoming 30 new members to the Community this week:
@Mia @Maya @Rpal @klane0124 @kj_rocker74 @kevinschmidt @CMc @Khickle @anonymous9 @anonymous10 @Emkawa @Mrjeffpowers @spin45s @anonymous11 @Elle @Gotthisjuice @merrimancn @anonymous12 @anonymous13 @Selfcare31 @aloneikeepthewolves @aimforthesun @tarabrodie @MrsK @Lperrelli @Redisadork @Dntthnktwice @Notyou @raybeccca @Vinicius_Canuto

Friends, we are not alone in this journey. And the more of us that hang out here, asking questions and sharing our experience, the stronger we become.

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Find one question that you feel comfortable to answer! Every question or answer added makes this place a more valuable resource for all .

Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here, ready to help. :tada:


#120

Welcome everyone :slight_smile: so great to have you with us! With our powers combined…we can make a huge difference in our own journeys and in all those who’ll come after us and read our experiences to find their way - if you’ve felt it, wondered it, asked it, then there’s likely to be a whole bunch more people who’re feeling it too :wink:
Did you know that almost 50% of Americans are affected by addiction through a friend or family member?
Every share here breaks the stigma a little more - keep sharing and keep coming back!


#121

Hi,
I joined this after someone on reddit /Alanon told me about it. I’ve been struggling for a year of my marriage with my husband. He drinks until he passes out, lost jobs because of it, and now he is in treatment for alcohol abuse and I’m away for vacations. The last year was hell for me. Constant fighting, relapses, lies, and eventually I told him that I had enough and after my trip I would leave him since I cannot do, or better said control what actions he does, but I can choose mines. I came here looking for support and advice on situations similar to mine. What can I do or how do I manage certain situations.


#122

Thank you for sharing @jfh and welcome! I understand the struggle. My boyfriend has been battling heroin/opiate addiction for over 10 years and it’s really difficult to see someone you love turn into a completely different person. It can be really draining and exhausting. For a while, I fell into a deep depression because I felt stuck and had no idea what to do, how to handle things, and what I can do to move forward. I started going to Al-Anon meetings and found myself a counselor because every time I tried talking to friends or family, they just didn’t understand and it made me feel even more isolated. I started following support groups for loved ones of addicts on every avenue I could find whether it was through social media or some other forum. It was so comforting for me to talk to other people who understood what I was going through. The support, reading their stories and similar experiences, and encouraging advice made me feel so much less alone.

One thing I found extremely helpful is to set boundaries and stick to them. My boyfriend can be extremely manipulative when he is actively using. The more I allow him to take advantage of my home, my money, etc., the more it enables him and continue actively using. One of the boundaries I set was if he is actively using and does not plan on getting help, then he cannot live with me. I always made sure to remind him that I love him but when it starts to negatively impact my mental health, I cannot allow him to be around me. This also ensures that you are taking care of yourself first and be the best support you can be when he is ready to get help, if you choose to stay in the relationship.

Just my two cents. I hope this helps. Good luck and there is hope, it can get better!