Hi Katie and all,
I’m not sure what my question is but this is what’s happening in my life right now. ( I think when I googled, “should I visit my son in jail?”, that’s how I somehow found this community.)
My son is in jail, due to substance abuse related criminal activity. He is hopeful he’ll be out for Christmas, and would love to come home I’m sure,
however, that scares me! I don’t trust him yet. He has ruined Every occasion, every holiday. I don’t know if I’m up to having him come home for Christmas. Coming home has been a trigger for him in the past. I feel horrible for hoping he stays in jail until space becomes available at the treatment centre, where he says he will go, and is apparently high on the list for admittance. While he’s in jail I know where he is, that he has a roof, food, and is safe, and primarily…he is now over 40 days clean, and sober! I don’t know how to handle this, if he is released.
He had been living at a buddy’s place, on the couch, before jail. I believe the buddy remains in active addiction. He can’t go back there! He is working on getting into a men’s dry house, perhaps in the interim, while waiting for a space to open up in the treatment centre. The waits can be so long! That’s why I hope he stays in jail, until one of these places has a space available for him. Alot of damage has been done in the past 9 years. In my home, I had doors kicked in, windows broken, furniture smashed. I sold our family home 2 years ago, and now rent a condo. I can’t risk that kind of damage in my rental home. Not to mention the damage this has all done to me personally, I’ve been an absolute wreck. (53, looking like 63!)
I am so grateful for this community to share and gain support and advice.