The Newcomer's Welcome: What brings you to Village?

welcome
newcomer

#39

@Allykatts11 We are so glad you found this Community, and so grateful for your willingness to share your knowledge & ongoing learning with us here! Thinking of you & your boyfriend as you enter this new season.


#40

Extending another warm Wednesday Welcome to @Barb_Sugrue @TinySatan08 @Allykatts11 @lm15042 @padge @spacetime @fredleam and @Karenf! We’re so grateful you joined us this week.

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us how the Community can best support you.
  2. Complete your member profile by selecting the wheel icon after you click on your icon in the upper right corner.

Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions! I’m here & happy to help.


#46

@Allykatts11 My fiance is struggling with recovering from Heroine. Insight into what really goes on inside her head in terms of the addiction is something I’ve always wanted to know more about. I think we can have some pretty awesome discussions on here, glad to have you


#41

Dealing with heroin addiction of our son for the last 11 plus years. He’s been in and out of county jail and served 33 months in state prison for crimes related to addiction. We’ve made every mistake known to man in dealing with it. My goal is to help parents avoid those mistakes.

It’s one thing to hear advice from parents who don’t have an addicted loved one. It’s another thing entirely to hear from someone who’s lived it. We discovered a great organization, the PAL Group, and started a meeting for parents in our church. I highly recommend every parent check this out. They will help you get a group started in your area.

Our story, along with four other families, will be the feature story in the December issue of Money Magazine. The online version goes live next week. The print edition will be out on November 23. The executive director of PAL is the featured couple.

The reporter heard about our story after reading my blog article about it. The story is about the financial consequences of addiction on families.

I encourage everyone to read and share the story. The goal is to educate and help families.

Thank you!


#42

Thanks so much for sharing @fredleam :slight_smile: <3


#43

My husband is an alcoholic and refuses to admit it or seek help, my entire life is around him and I just don’t wanna be like that anymore, I wanna appreciate myself and love myself and put myself first without feeling guilty for doing it.


#44

You’re not alone @Caroliny - I too struggle with the feeling of guilt. Welcome here. :hugs:


#45

We’re here for you @Caroliny so glad you’ve joined us here - sending <3 what are you up to this weekend?


#47

Hi,
I’m very happy to have been connected to a new outlet and resource to help me to understand how to properly approach my boyfriends addiction issues.
The village’s insta account connected with my account through an Al-Anon insta group I joined after my first and only meeting with the group.
I am still unsure of how I feel to the whole AA enterprise so it’s a breath of fresh air to see that there’s something like this.
I have yet to really examine this site but I am hopeful this forum will be a positive step for me when addressing my boyfriend and his alcoholism, gambling, sensation seeking behaviours and his cocaine use. He is in the process of going to AA meetings and is going to be apart of a gambling program at an institution in our city in the next week.
I have kicked him out of our apartment and have left him with the dog (so as to form some semblance of a routine and responsibility in his life). He is currently sleeping on his parents couch. I found out he stole from me. He took my credit card out of my wallet and used it for online poker. I was, and am still furious. I am not sure if I can ever trust him again. I know we need to see a couples counsellor but I feel that I am not at all addressing myself or my needs.
This is why groups like this I feel can be so beneficial to have a somewhat anonymous platform to gain insight and a new/similar perspective to the same issue in a whole different context.
Thank you all so much and all the best


#48

Thanks so much for joining us here @EMM89 I’ve been where you are - in my case sitting in a nar anon meeting, my husband has struggled with Marijuana, gambling, porn and cocaine, alcohol has always featured but cocaine was the kicker. I found myself in nar anon meetings not agreeing with the detach with love messaging nor the lack of actions to be taken. This community serves up hope, optimism and provides tools to take action on. I personally found the anon meetings good to share in person. But this gives a safe space online, your joining us in early days here, every contribution makes the platform better. We’re in this together. Thanks again for being here. Please keep sharing your journey, your questions and answers you can share from your experience and we’ll promise to continue to do the same <3


#49

BIG Wednesday Welcome to those who have joined us this week!

Here’s looking at you @Jlspong @Marianne @Kelleye @strikingmatches @stacymthomas66 @Caroliny @catawumpus @Alyse @Angela216 @emmie @April @Kiz @EMM89 @Ram @Tryingtohelp @dadpop2007 @soph92 @KimA and @Shazaam.

If you haven’t yet, please take 5 minutes to:

  1. Say ‘hi!’ on this thread & tell us what you hope to gain from this Community.
  2. Complete your member profile by selecting the wheel icon after you click on your icon in the upper right corner.

^ Both of these things will help us help you better!

Please reach out if you have any questions! We are real people facilitating this platform, and really care to help. :relaxed:


#36

#50

I am here because I have been married for 38 years. My husband has been a drug addict for 34 years… different stages of preferred drug of choice: from marijuana to cocaine to methamphetamine and now alcoholism. He’s never been sober more than 6 months. Went to treatment once. Refuses counseling, meetings anything to do with recovery. I’m telling you if you are with an addict you better accept the fact that this IS how you will live with this person. Do not EXPECT change. I am telling you the truth so you will realize that this is the person you are with…


#52

Hi Katie and all,
I’m not sure what my question is but this is what’s happening in my life right now. ( I think when I googled, “should I visit my son in jail?”, that’s how I somehow found this community.)
My son is in jail, due to substance abuse related criminal activity. He is hopeful he’ll be out for Christmas, and would love to come home I’m sure,
however, that scares me! I don’t trust him yet. He has ruined Every occasion, every holiday. I don’t know if I’m up to having him come home for Christmas. Coming home has been a trigger for him in the past. I feel horrible for hoping he stays in jail until space becomes available at the treatment centre, where he says he will go, and is apparently high on the list for admittance. While he’s in jail I know where he is, that he has a roof, food, and is safe, and primarily…he is now over 40 days clean, and sober! I don’t know how to handle this, if he is released.
He had been living at a buddy’s place, on the couch, before jail. I believe the buddy remains in active addiction. He can’t go back there! He is working on getting into a men’s dry house, perhaps in the interim, while waiting for a space to open up in the treatment centre. The waits can be so long! That’s why I hope he stays in jail, until one of these places has a space available for him. Alot of damage has been done in the past 9 years. In my home, I had doors kicked in, windows broken, furniture smashed. I sold our family home 2 years ago, and now rent a condo. I can’t risk that kind of damage in my rental home. Not to mention the damage this has all done to me personally, I’ve been an absolute wreck. (53, looking like 63!)
I am so grateful for this community to share and gain support and advice.


#62

Thank you for being here @Ryarbrough! It sounds like you’ve been on a long path. We’re super grateful to be able to support you in your journey, and looking forward to learning from your hard-earned experience & knowledge - so that those who follow may face fewer bumps.


#54

Hi @gayneygirl
You are going through so much and you are clearly such a wonderful and caring parent. Your son is very lucky to have a mom like you.
I remember feeling similarly when my boyfriend was coming out of rehab. I was so overcome with worry and fear that once he was out of that safe space that he would relapse and go right back to drugs. When he went to rehab I finally found some short lived peace to the situation, because at least while he was there I knew I didn’t have to excessively worry about whether he was doing drugs and hurting himself in this way.
For what it is worth, I think it is very positive that your son sounds like he is interested in treatment. I TOTALLY understand the feeling of not trusting them yet. Do NOT feel guilty for feeling any of these things!!! They are so expected. Do you have any self care practices? I am not a mom, but I have seen my boyfriends mom struggle with the anxiety and sadness that comes from having a son who is an addict. It is so difficult!! I know that most recently she has found even doing one small thing a day for herself to be somewhat helpful. It seems like a process that takes a lot of time but it’s nice to know we have this community to find support from others, when we can’t deal with it all ourselves


#58

Hey @gayneygirl we’re so glad you’re here to share and learn from others. You are not alone and we’re here every step of the way :hugs::yellow_heart:


#59

We’re so happy you’re here @gayneygirl so we can all share and grow together!

I’ve posted your question over here so it gets greatest exposure and can help those who follow who have the same question.

Please let us know how else we can support!


#53

Hello! I am new to this online community and so thankful to have discovered it.
I am here because my boyfriend is an addict (cocaine). He has been using drugs for many years and only admitted this to me a year into our relationship. We have been together for three years now and he is currently in early recovery (has been out of rehab for a year, has not relapsed in 6 months). I have been through so many ups and downs with my boyfriend throughout his recovery, and have really struggled to find people who have been in a similar situation as me. I don’t think I have ever even had a conversation with someone who has also been in a relationship with an addict. It’s a really difficult journey but one that I am trying to navigate every single day. I’m so thankful to have found this community and to be able to communicate with you all and support one another!!


#56

Welcome @dori! We’re so thankful to have you here :slight_smile:
I think you’ll find a few people here at Village who you can talk to about being in a relationship with someone struggling with substance use. It is a difficult journey but the first step is reaching out for help so you’re already on the way! :yellow_heart: