Hello village ,
Here I am again, my safe place to come to when things get really bad .
My husband relapsed again … 5th time this year.
This is the tricky part… he says he wants help , he says he’s “found a place “ For meetings , rehab, etc .
We never go because in the midst of it life gets so jam packed .the hamster wheel keeps turning and turning and we live life just like we used before addiction came crashing in and for a moment it seems like we are gonna beat this … and then the dark comes like a heavy blanket .
And to be honest ,maybe I’m naive but , I believe him when he tells me he’s ok and to trust him.
But here I am again, foolishly writing this from my bathroom as I noticed he came home high.
This time there was no screaming , just my patience holding his hand asking him “are you on cocaine?”
And the long jaw clenching , eye shifting pause of a yes .
I’m at the end of my rope , I’ve Listend to podcasts , read many of your stories and articles and books and tried to get him to go to a meeting or rehab… but here we are in the darkness of a relapse .
Is anyone out there ?