I’m reaching out because my fiancé went through a 4.5 month rehab program and has started drinking recently after he got out. He got out in July and started drinking in September. When he drinks he drinks about 5 beers, 3 days a week and this causes him to be drunk fast(due to his body weight ).He should not be drinking at all since he cannot handle alcohol at all.
On Friday nights he typically goes to Celebrate Recovery however for the last two Friday nights he has not been going to CR. A few Fridays ago he got upset and said he was not going to CR and that he wanted to fall back to focus on recovery but instead he has been drinking . I gave him his space and last Friday he came over and apologized saying that he has been drinking 2 nights a week. This week he’s been consistently perusing his sobriety however I want to know if I should press him going to CR and AA meetings.
Thanks for your question
In our program we see relapse or slips as a chance to assess what is not working and as an indication that increased support is needed.
The questions you might want to consider are:
- What has worked in the past, and can this be reengaged in?
- What isn’t working about the current options (CR & AA)?
- What is different now, any stressful events or triggers?
- What options is your loved one open to trying at this point in time?
- Are they open to making a commitment to trying something new, and how can we help?
One idea worth considering is that we want to support them to find what works for them and it may change over time, so the end goal should be flexible to collaborating with them and tapping into their motivations and needs to find something that will work for them now. It’s totally OK if it needs to be something different now.
We can also brainstorm options for your loved one. One idea is this free recovery content and coaching app by our friends at Halcyon Health another is a call with our Recovery Coach who has been so helpful to many of our community members and can help navigate options.