My boyfriend has been at a new facility for 2 weeks now. He loves it and I am so happy he is there getting the treatment he needs. The only concern to me is that no one on the staff has contacted me back after days, even weeks of trying to speak with someone. He put me on the consent form, which legally allows me to speak with someone about his treatment and partake in the process.
I spoke to the front desk girl and asked her about family meetings they have every week. She told me I would not be allowed to attend because they are for families or siblings, but that I could get approval to attend. I explained to her both my boyfriend and myself want me to be included in on the process of recovery. That am I am positive influence on his life, and that after he leaves their facility, I will be the one actively involved with him in his recovery. She said my points were valid.
Now apparently my boyfriend spoke to a higher up at the facility, explaining to him that his parents would have a hard time attending the meetings and that I would like to actively participate. The excuse the man gave my boyfriend was “if I let you do it, everyone will want their GFs to attend”. When my BF explained this to me, I was baffled because apparently all I needed was approval which seemed like they take it case by case. After all, the rehab does pride itself on helping loved ones thru the process on their website.
Now after telling my story, I have been told that my behavior is co-dependent, etc. I say those accusations are false. I understand that my BF needs his own space to heal, recover, and he is getting that space. But once a week, attending a meeting with him would be beneficial to us as a couple experiencing early recovery so together we can grow and succeed. So we can heal and get create a toolbox together as a couple. I don’t really see the harm in that. We see it as a positive thing.
Now part of me is saying let it go, don’t keep trying. So in my mind currently, I am slowly letting it go because I realize I have no true control over the outcome of the situation. I’m getting to a point of being okay with it. My issue is that I don’t like that the rehab claims one thing, acts another way.
I apologize for this being so long, I just wanted to get some feedback, see if anyone else had a similar experience. Also as an edit point I am not an addict.
I appreciate it! xx