After leaving my marriage of 5 years due to addiction, I am coming to terms that I have endured a good amount of emotional abuse in the duration of the marriage. This was initially surprising to me because he always acted like he was the victim and I the monster. I admit that towards the end, my bitterness led to very harsh words and a very negative perspective of him and his choices. While listening to a podcast, I heard something that resonated with me. They said, like an animal, when they are highly threatened and cornered they act out in a way that is not true to their nature. I am not proud of how I acted towards the end, and I don’t want to give myself an excuse for my action, but I feel there is some truth to this comparison. When I am not feeling threatened and in a dire situation, that is not who I am.
I want to repair my relationship my ex, not necessarily romantically, but for my son. I have been so protective of myself, imagine 40 ft walls. I have my boundaries, I enforce my boundaries, but does it just take time?
I know this post was all over the place, please feel free to comment on any part of it. Thank you.