Thanks @Jane Your response makes a lot of sense. I guess the problem for my loved one is they have been completely isolated and uninvolved with the world for so long that there are no positive motivators left.
My loved one is my mom. Sheâs in her mid-sixties. Lives in a small town she gave up on a long time ago. She doesnât have any friends or even acquaintainces at this point. She hasnât worked in ten years. She is socially anxious, so the prospect of being with people is negative rather than positive.
For years weâve talked about her moving closer to me (I live in a large city 3 hours from her), but she has never been able to make any steps toward doing that, and the few times she has stayed here, while waiting to get into rehab programs, have been disastrous. Because I canât be with her every second, she drinks and goes out and gets lost because she doesnât know the city. Sheâs safe at least in her small town. And she owns a home there, so no matter what happens to it she has a place to live. If she sold it, and rented a place here, she might be evicted for smoking inside or small fires or living in mess.
I canât find a single thread of motivation that I could tug or show her.