When do I let husband back home

enabling
self-care
boundaries

#1

After 8 years of marriage and many years of alcohol abuse during it, I had to ask my husband to leave. I love him but he has refused to get any help. He’s been living in his truck for the past week, it’s been heart breaking. But, he finally reached out to his family for support and help, he’s started AA, he’s looking into outpatient treatment and counseling. I am leaving to see my family with our daughter to Missouri for a week or 2. During this time, I am hoping for significant progress. How do I know how long to leave him at rock bottom. I am his wife and I want to be here but I dont want to risk enabling him anymore.


#2

@Eltrent I’m sorry, that must be really hard to watch. But you aren’t “leaving him at rock bottom”. His sobriety is always his responsibility to manage. So if he is at rock bottom, that’s for him to pull himself up and change things.

Now it’s up to you to decide your boundaries. Do you want him to be sober for a certain amount of time before he comes home? Do you want him to be committed to a recovery plan and actively participating in a program?

From personal experience, you just need to know what you will accept and what you won’t accept, and don’t allow him back home until he is behaving in a way that you can accept. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be true to yourself and what you and your daughter need. :purple_heart: