I’m thinking of things like cleaning their house up, having a morning routine, hygiene. The very basics. What have you done that has worked for you in the past to encourage your loved one to develop these habits into their lives?
So definitely reflecting good (self care) behavior - I will clean the house etc. and next time he will
Also, talking about the little things, so on the same topic - I will talk about how great the place feels when it’s clean not in an arrogant way! But in a ‘ah doesn’t it feel nice that it’s so clean?’ Making it a way to enjoy the outcome together.
Definitely also, managing my own stress, the more present and calm I can be the more he is.
I think another one, that I’m not so great at, is reducing outside stress eg. money, finances, work etc. The less pressure on these for him allows more space for self care focus. Sometimes catching old habits that would make him sign up for an overcomplicated job etc. So breaking past destructive patterns - we have to act in new ways to create new healthy habits!
Talk about it, draw awareness to it, celebrate it to positively reinforce the habits!
Listen, sometimes his concerns I brush off, the more I empathize the more we can move through it <3
I personally think morning routines have a big impact because they can help set the tone for the day. When my brother first moved back to New York starting his first real job ever we would start the day with a phone call or FaceTime and would sing “It’s gonna be a good day, it’s gonna be a great day!” (silly, I know) but it helped! Time went by and these morning calls stopped and a few weeks ago he shared he was feeling depressed and resentful towards his job. That’s when I encouraged the yoga flow. Another thing that happened after that was I started calling him again in the mornings to sing our song. We don’t do it every day, but a morning reminder has helped him SO MUCH and he is now in a much better headspace.
I like what @polly said about cleaning the house:
One morning I was hanging out with my brother in his room and just started organizing his nightstand (specifically his JUUL pods that were all over the place). He appreciated it and also pointed out how much better his environment felt when things were organized and not messy. It was a small way I tried to encourage him to, at the very least, clean up the nightstand!
I recommend treading lightly when it comes to discussing hygiene with our loved ones. Be mindful of how it’s communicated. Think about saying “your hair looks terrible you should brush it”. What would the outcome be? Our loved ones would probably immediately put up a defensive wall and feel bad about themselves. A nicer way to approach this could be “I found an incredible hairbrush specifically meant for brushing wet hair and I love it! They were having a sale so I bought you one, try it out after your next shower and let me know if you liked it as much as I did!” Enthusiasm about a positive change is always a plus in my book. Of course there are other ways, but the main point is when we speak to our loved ones about their hygiene we also have to try not to hurt their feelings.
This is what works for me as I support my brother, how have others encouraged their loved ones to engage in good self care behavior? The more we hear from each other the more we can learn !
I would love to hear more perspectives on this, as it’s something I’m trying to figure out too!