My boyfriend was in rehab for 10 months and moved in with me after he got out for about 7 months now. I caught him using a couple months ago and he admitted right away and said he would take some steps to work on it but hasn’t been quite keeping up with it. He was willing to have a conversation when we first talked but any time after I tried to bring it up, he would get really upset. The last time we talked about it, I was proud of myself for being patient and doing my best to listen to his side. He basically told me the only thing that would help is knowing that I can drug test him at any time as he said he would be willing to take one no questions asked.
Well, I had a bad feeling the other day and tested him. Turned up positive for opiates. At first, he denied it and said he didn’t know why. But I told him drug tests don’t lie. Then he finally admitted he took a Vicodin a few days ago because his back was hurting. His excuse was that it’s not heroin, Vicodin is so mild compared to heroin or Percocet, and he didn’t smoke it he just swallowed the pill.
I understand where he’s coming from but I still didn’t buy it. I was patient throughout the entire conversation and told him he needs to be doing something to get back on track. He said okay to seeing a doctor about his back, going to one meeting a week, and doing his best to keep in touch with his friends from rehab.
I keep thinking that maybe he has fully relapsed and I just can’t sleep because I worry so much of what this could mean. We have come so far and are at a point where we’re thinking about marriage and buying a home. I’m so scared it’s all going to go away because he keeps “slipping up”. I plan on testing every few days at this point to see if it really was a one time thing. He seems to be doing fine otherwise as he still has a healthy appetite and isn’t nodding off or any of his usual habits I notice when he’s in active addiction. It just feels like he is heading down a bad road again and it is giving me so much anxiety and I don’t know what to do.
For those who have loved ones in long term recovery, how do you know when it’s a full on relapse vs a slip up in their recovery?