What questions do you ask yourself to decide: should I stay or should I go?


Hearing a lot of questions around when/if it’s time to leave a partner who struggles with substance use. “Should I stay or should I go?” Wondering, what questions have you asked yourself that have helped inform this decision?


Oh man. Heavy hitter @katie

You know, I should have asked this more times. Something in me could not walk away. Knowing this person I love and feel a deep connection with is in so much pain and that there’s relief to be had and that there were always moments of hope.

Still makes me wonder why I tend to choose the hard vs easy path. But you know, there’s something in my being that can’t stand letting that pain continue, and I choose to believe that’s ok.


I had many times where I was on the fence about this. What came down to it for me was, how is this effecting my future? How long am I willing to let it effect my future and my financial status? How is it effecting my personal well-being? My other relationships? Does it look like there is hope for the future? Will it get better? Also like @Polly said, feeling a deep connection and love for this person makes you hang on just alittle more. My fiance tells me all the time what type of life she wants to live, how much she wants to be clean so she can actively pursue that life. Hearing those things gives me hope for the future and I want to do everything I can to help her reach that point so she can live the best and happiest life she can, even if it means it’ll be tough for the time being. But I still wonder sometimes, how long will it take and how will it effect my personal well being, my financial stability and my other relationships in the end. I feel like there is a line to be drawn, even though you may love them, where you need to pull away to protect yourself if the damage and effects on your future is too great.


This was the first workbook I created as the #coachforwivesofaddicts I’ve moved on a bit and while this is currently at $7.99 on my website, I will post the direct link to the PDF. This is the exact process I used and it can be applied to lots of decisions. Because we all know - you always have a choice. Sometimes it’s rock vs hard place though. (((Hugs))) and <3


Thanks @ErinHill! Really, really appreciate your generosity in sharing these resources! :raised_hands:t4: