What about the children? Do you keep them in the same house as the practicing addict?



I"m thinking about what is right for my child and what is convenient for me. Do you leave with your children or do you ask the addict leave or do you stay and hope nothing happens that will physically harm the child like them finding dope, lighters etc,


Do what you need to do in order to keep yourself and your child safe. I’ve had to set boundaries when it comes to my husband’s use and our son. I get scared that even though I don’t use or drink, I could get my son taken away if it appears I’m putting him danger. Thankfully I’ve never felt he was in danger.

Again, trust your gut. That is the best advice I’ve ever been given when faced with hard decisions.


@momentsandlight again, I thank you for the thoughtful reply. It feels good to read what other people do. It makes my life more real to me. It helps me see that others have similar thoughts and issues and that not everyone makes decisions “by the book”. Situations are messy and we do what we believe is best. At least that’s my take away.


@momentsandlight Thank you for your reply. In my state children can be taken away if drugs are found in the house or if they are even around an intoxicated parent, so custody wise it’s a no brainer or a gamble. I suppose there is always the proverbial line that tells us when to save the kids.

I was curious as to what people have done when their kids were young. I know when my daughter was little {she’s 33 now}, though I tried to hid everything from her she was still around the craziness… It was unnecessary. Looking back I would have subjected her to that craziness… I was young and stupid. Haha, I guess I kind of still am.

Yes, trust your gut as well as the facts. I was once told by an Alanon sponsor to take my feelings out of it entirely. Then to write down only the facts of the situation in question. Often that did line up with what my gut was telling me. :neutral_face:


My son was under 3 when my husband was in active addiction - too young to understand what was going on and thankfully my husband never had anything in the house that our son could get into. One of the boundaries I’ve had to put into place is requiring clean drug tests for the safety of our son. It’s so so hard with kids, but the recovery process has made us better parents because we are now taking better care of ourselves, have developed better communication skills, and many of the things we’ve learned through recovery we’ve been able to apply in parenting.