Welcome new We The Village Family Study members, let's get to know one another

#1

Welcome We The Village Family Study members, let’s get to know one another.

Please click HERE to introduce yourself on this post!

Whatever you are comfortable sharing with the group, we’d love to hear it :heart:

Whether it’s about how long you’ve been dealing with this, your frustrations, your hopes, your journey, your loved one, a high, a low, how you’re feeling today or all of the above! It’s all invited in here. Sharing is a great first place to start getting more support.

12-weeks of support starts now!

#3

Hi there! I am currently in a long term relationship with a addict who’s main DOC is opiates. He’s been to treatment once and relapsed shortly after. Also tried getting off opiates several times on his own but then just binges on other substances. We have children together and still live with each together but his level of addiction is wearing on all of us and has come to a point that change must happen whether that’s with him or without him. He deals with depression, anxiety, guilt and shame and in return self destructs. As far as myself I’m exhausted doing everything on my own and I’m Lonely. I try to focus on my own happiness and my children and accept I can’t control his behavior and choices and remember he’s sick. Sometimes it’s hard though when the person you love is disappearing right in front of your eyes. I also shut down at times because my friends and family are constantly trying to tell me the only answer and choice is to leave my significant other. I don’t believe in the tough love method and wish he had more support other then just myself. I understand I may be enabling and maybe leaving him could put more pressure on him to help himself but it’s a tough situation all and all as I’m sure most of you understand.

#2
#4

@Lovematters great to have you here and excited to be kicking this off with you.

Your story sounds so familiar, I can relate to so much of it so thank you thank you for sharing. You’re not alone in this.

Don’t worry, there’s more to come here so stay tuned. Sending love.

#5

Not sure how to post. Feel like I’m replying to another post !Thank you ! Looking forward to the 12 weeks. I’m Denise. My son is an opiate addict. The years have come and gone. I’m not sure how long this addiction has sucked life from our family. I have done all I know to do. I’m in a detached mode Lately. Several rehabs, one half way house, suboxone ( which turned into an addiction) and presently using. It’s like all my hope for him gets thrown away. I love him dearly but his addiction has cost me and our family an untold amount of money and two precious grandchildren. I’m so lost in this world !!! I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to about the dark side of addiction. Sorry for being so negative.

#10

There is always hope. And I think your being here shows that you believe that, too. My husband is a recovering heroin addict. I know sometimes I have felt lost in the unknown and the negative thinking. Is there anything you are grateful for today? A short gratitude list can often help ground us in the present moment and remember the good stuff. There is still good stuff. Today, I’m grateful that my husband is sitting upstairs playing video games when just a few years ago, he’d be in the garage, isolating himself. Recovery is possible.

#26

Hi @Denise - How are you today? Have you been able to try out a gratitude list or another self-care practice? Sending you love and hope. Check in here if you’d like to talk! You’re not alone in this. :pray::sparkles:

#6

Hi I am Garnet. Thank you for inviting me to your wonderful group. I am the mother of 5 children. My ex-husband slipped into addiction with both feet after our divorce. Our oldest three children went head first with him. My oldest dauter’s son was murdered by his uncle(father’s side) while my daughter was away dealing Meth. she has spent more of the four years since his death in jail than out. My oldest son passed away from complications due to iv drug use at 22 years old. (5 months of hospice care). My youngest son is struggling very hard since his brothers death. He some how believes that nothing bad will happen because he only smokes Heroin. The past 4 months he is trying to stay clean, but I hear bad stories about him od ing at the local bar of our small town just last week end. I am here to offer any support and gain any advice anyone has or needs.

#11

Hi Garnet. You are so strong for being here and for sharing your story. Thank you!

#27

Hi @razzberrykitty - How have you been doing? Anything weighing on your mind that you can release in this space? Here for you - you’re not alone. :pray::sparkles:

#7

Hi all. My current partner relapsed on heroin after many years clean. He is currently in MAT and I’m hopeful. He’s gotten clean and sober and had love stretches of recovery time. He has started attending SMART recovery meetings, is going to the gym, is looking for work, is sleeping and eating well, and has scheduled an appointment with a therapist. He’s also agreed to couple’s counseling. I want him to be well with or without me, but I also want to build a future with this person that I love and right now everything is centered around this one thing. I’ve been working from home for 3 weeks while he gets adjusted to the new meds and I’m happy to be a part of his recovery but it also exhausting doing that plus my fulltime job and other life responsibilities.

Overall, every day is a little better than the one before and the hard days I know will pass. I feel grateful that he is alive. I feel grateful that I get to be with him. I feel grateful that my friends and family have been supportive. I am grateful I am working and in therapy. I feel stressed and sad and lonely and overwhelmed too. I know this addiction has nothing to do with me. I know that it doesn’t mean I’m not loved. I know that no addict wants to be addicted. I know help and healing are possible, But I also know that the process is lifelong. I am trying to remember to take time for myself every day. This support group counts.

This is all compounded by the fact that my mom died of an OD when I was 17. I have learned a lot since then about codependency and also about who I want to be as a person. I also know that addiction knows no age, race, or other boundary. It can happen to anyone. My partner and my mom could not be less alike in so many ways, but addiction doesn’t discriminate.

I am looking forward to growing more after spending time in this group.

#8

Hi I’m Brenda. I have a 30yo son who is struggling. I’m dealing with non drug related health problems. I’m happy to share and if I can help others I feel good about myself. It’s better to share than to isolate myself. My son’s doc is heroin but will use and has used it all. I’m not sure that I can help him but realize that I need to help myself. :0(

#16

So glad you’re here @Mchrisos. I think sharing your story will help others grow, as well. You and your loved one have already take such important steps forward. Thanks for sharing!

#9

Hi @Brenda_Allen - I’m glad you’re here. There is most definitely power in sharing our stories. Getting support for yourself is one of the best ways you can help your son. The first step forward is inward.

#17

OMG, just got a call from my son. He’s on parole and has a hot urine. He’s heading into the office. So scared but know that I am helpless. So sad.

#18

@Brenda_Allen - I’m so sorry to hear this! How are you? Are you able to take a walk somewhere, maybe go to a favorite place, clear your head? I know how it feels to get stuck in your thoughts, when your fears become reality and all you can think of are worst case scenarios. Getting stuck in the what-if’s. Trying to stay grounded in the moment can help. Focus on your breathing, listen to a guided meditation on YouTube, just be still and let the feelings pass. Yes, we are powerless over outcomes and cannot force certain things to happen or not happen. But please know that doesn’t make you helpless. Check back in here when you can. Sending love. :pray::sparkles:

#15

Hi @TT124, welcome! You’re definitely not alone here. My husband is a recovering heroin addict and knowing all the lies that come along with the addiction, I’m happy to hear your loved one has been honest and upfront with you. That’s so great - hold on to that! And your confused feelings following his rehab stay are not uncommon - check out the threads here, here, and here for similar questions and responses.

It’s a tough process, but it’s also an opportunity for you to look inward and identify your own needs and boundaries. Take care of yourself while he takes care of himself. This self-care and self-love will help you better support each other.

#12

Hello my name is Benjamin. My brother is an opiate(heroin) addict of 10 years. It is slowly tearing our family apart. My mother cries every night that she’ll have to speak at his funeral. I know that constantly asking/telling him he needs help is only pushing him farther away from us. I’m here to get our family help on this situation. I’m glad I’m here!

#13

So glad you’re here @bqgranite and thanks for sharing <3

#25

Hi @bqgranite - how have things been going these past few weeks? I’m so glad you’re here, not only for your brother, but also to find support for yourself and your entire family. I believe addiction is a family disease - not only because it can poison relationships, but because it makes us family members behave differently and sometimes even make us do things we don’t want to do. Is anyone else in your family getting support?