I was finally able to reach my sister in the rehab she is currently in and despite being afraid of her phone call, it went really well. I could tell in the beginning of the phone call she was scared of what I might have to say but as soon as she heard how happy I was to speak with her, her attitude totally changed. In the past, she has spoken so much about her addiction that we’ve never been able to move on to any other topic during any discussion. But this time, I told her about this course and how I was working harder to understand and gain knowledge of everything while still setting boundaries for myself. Her response was great and we were FINALLY able to move onto another topic. She even asked me specific questions about how certain things were going in my life.
At first all I felt was joy, we were back to normal it felt like. But now I’m back to my fear. I’m afraid that she’ll think all the help I’m getting is going towards ONLY helping her so if she uses again, she’ll expect me to do more. At one point in the call she asked “Can you do me a favor?” and I almost freaked out. I said maybe and her favor was only to watch a movie, but the thought of something more scared me. I know if she asks me for money or a place to stay while claiming, or is actually, better and I say no, she’ll claim that I’m not helping her in the right way. She’s only 19 and I want the best for her, but on the opposite side, I’m only 22. Denying her a place to stay in the past has always haunted me. When a friend took her in instead, she ended up betraying that person but I know if she is better, or claiming to be, that she’ll say that won’t happen, she’ll say it will never happen. What do I do in the future if she says she’s clean, and may actually be, and needs help? Am I supposed to consider that it might possibly might not be true? Or am I supposed to help her and risk it all being a lie?