Sober Living Advice


My boyfriend (I’m not 100% sure) just moved from rehab to a sober living apartment with a bunch of others that are in the same position as him. We are both finally in a good place separately than we were before he left for rehab a little over a month ago. We are talking consistently and it’s always more positive each time. We’ve been intimate since he’s been gone. He got passes and wanted to come see me.

I’ve been so happy lately, I wanted to do like a grand gesture for him. Something kinda telling him the story of how far I’ve gotten since he’s been gone. It’s worlds different. And I want him to know that I still love him and I want to be on this journey with him helping in any way I can. I can still see a future with him, granted he stays sober.

I want advice on if you think this is a good idea or not. I’m hesitant to do it because he hasn’t said he loves me since I dropped him off at rehab. And I’m scared that if he doesn’t want to date me anymore, that I’m going to lose all of this progress I’ve been making on myself. Part of me thinks I won’t though because I’ve been so happy just finding myself again, and I’m much more better off mentally than I have been in years. I just feel like I need to put something out there. I’m not going to push him to tell me at any certain time, but when he’s ready. I just want him to know I still love him and still want to be with him while saying the ball is in his court and whenever he’s ready, I’m going be here waiting. And if he doesn’t, I want him to know that I’ll be okay because I just want him to happy.


Go with what your heart says, and know that his reaction doesn’t mean anything about you, either way. So if you want to express your feelings that’s always a great idea. Just be sure you will take care of yourself no matter how he responds. Kudos to you for all the progress you’ve made!!!


I agree with Karilyn. Sometimes you just have to put your feelings out there regardless of the result. That’s the vulnerability of love. Letting go of the fear of rejection regardless of the outcome is tough. But at least you will know where he stands at the moment. Then you can go from there to make decisions that are best for yourself. I always try to remember too that a lot of what others project is not about us at all. Also what a person can or cannot give back is mostly about them too.