Question to anyone with this experience: Should you say something every time you suspect drinking? Last night was the first time when he was texting me that I felt something slightly off. Nothing crazy. He was just a little more talkative than he normally would be at 12:30 am. But we went to bed and I just shrugged it off as he was happy. When I saw him today he was completely sober, but I swear when I kissed him I smelled a little booze. It sucks because overall things have been great. We even sat down last week and had a wonderful talk. He wanted me to tell him everything he’s been doing when he’s drunk and how that makes me feel. He wrote it all down to take with him to therapy. It was a true heart-to-heart. He then shared some of the things he’s uncovering in therapy and things from his past that may be causing a lot of his behaviors. That being said, I don’t want to ruin or taint the progression with accusations that may or may not be true. My gut says he may have found some old booze hidden or bought a small amount of something last night. But this could also be my mind jumping to conclusions. I always struggle with this one. At what point do you say something? Do you let it go? Or is that just allowing him to think he got away with sneaking drinks? Or is he only lying to himself? Again, besides this one possible event, he’s been working his tail off. It depresses me to think he still might want to drink. I don’t get it! It’s mind boggling to me.
My bottom line is he must be working recovery and staying sober. I understand this is not a linear journey, but I also don’t want him to think he’s pulling the wool over my eyes. But then again, the truth always comes out again in the end. Meaning, if he’s not truly working recovery it won’t take long for any possible sneaking to become a glaring truth.