Unless we are giving your loved one substances we are not enabling.
A rule of thumb when it comes to money - is spend money on things (ie. order groceries) not cash for food.
I see a huge failing in society here. When our loved ones are sick they cannot take care of themselves. Ok maybe they hit rock and have an epiphany and get their act together.
But addiction affects the brain and is a self-reinforcing vicious cycle. I feel crap. So I use. Then i feel more crap. So I use more.
I remember with my husband when we were not together we talked as a family about paying for a cleaner. He wouldn’t accept it because his place was SO BAD!
BUT I think it’s a great idea. And I KNOW that it makes a huge difference. Even today when my husband is 3 years into recovery, the house gets messy and he gets wobbly. It might sound ridiculous but showing these people, who find it easy to think they are not worthy, that they are human and worthy is really sustaining and healthy and rubs off.
Our positive, joyful, together model rubs off on them. That’s also why it’s so important we take care of ourselves (for our own good) but also to show up best for them!