Routines: does your loved one have them, use them, how vital are they to their recovery and do you play any part in them?

self-care
#1

I’ve heard many accounts from people in recovery who have found rigid routines very helpful in their recovery. EG. total transformation around what they eat, how they workout etc. etc.

But my husband is SO non-routined. Well I guess he has his own routine but I’ve never seen a transformation in eating, sleeping, exercise habits. Are we just not there yet?

Really interested to hear from you all what types of routines your loved one’s have used to their benefit or detriment. Small and large, I’d really love to hear them. Please share!

#2

when my hubs first got clean and sober it was LOTS of meetings - he was pretty busy with outpatient treatment, meetings, step work, etc. He did quit smoking about a year in, by switching to vaping. He’s still vaping, but that’s another post… I’d encourage you to focus on developing your own routines and focusing on you - I know it sounds cliche, but it’s truly the key <3

#3

My dad adopted some pretty rigid habits and routines when he started his recovery, and then when he decided to lighten up on them, he really slipped waaaay back into some unhealthy old habits.

In my opinion, I think something he could’ve done differently would’ve been to anticipate obstacles. He added a bunch of new activities (like a strict diet, 2 workouts per day, etc.) without consideration for his ongoing, normal activities (like enjoying a candy treat or watching TV). Then, there was no room for his ‘normal’ activities. So instead of maybe planning a “cheat day” or “TV between 7-9pm” (just examples!), it became an all-or-nothing situation. Eating the candy in bed while watching TV until 2am results in a wonky sleep schedules which then creates temptation toward sleeping pills, etc etc.

… I guess my long-winded answer is simply to suggest balance!

#4

There may be a connection between all-or-nothing thinking and addiction issues, @katie - based on my observations of my son’s thought processes and reading I’ve done.

I think routines are essential for anyone who wants to change behavior or start a new healthy habit. For example, I would like to meditate more often - working toward daily meditation. It would be helpful for me to set up that habit as a routine in my life. Let’s see if I do! But the best routines allow for exceptions and are forgiving of them.

Sleep is another area where routines are really important. I recently read “Why We Sleep” by Matthew Walker, Ph.D. and the bottom line is most people need 7-8 hours of sleep a night, and going to bed and getting up around the same time are very important.

#5

That makes a lot of sense, @Julie_Smith! Appreciate you sharing what you’ve studied.