My s/o has been saying he’s going to rehab for the past 2 weeks he speaks to the center and promises tomorrow tomorrow but always ends up not going, Instead every night he gets his 12pk and bag of cocaine instead. I can’t stand him when he’s under the influence he just a different person so almost every night I just end up ignoring him because I just don’t want to deal with anymore. He just found out that he has to go by Aug 20th in order to be covered with disability at his job so now he’s probably not going until Aug 18 19 and until then he’s just going to keep doing what he does every night. Should I just leave him be? I’ve been at a point where I just want to leave him but idk.
So I don’t live with my S/O so it’s easier for me to do this, but when he is in full blown addiction I do not have much contact with him. I will not come over, go places with him, hang out, etc. My S/O also gets verbally abusive so the minute he steps over my boundaries verbally, I block him and provide very little contact . This usually gets him to rehab faster because he gets pretty lonely and misses me. When he does ask me to come over or do things I simply say, “If/when you get sober I would love that. “ when he asks for help I tell him the only thing i’ll help him with is getting help for his addiction or going inpatient. And I stay true to this. when he’s sober, I take him to meetings, drive him to rehab, etc. My rule for our relationship is he must be in active recovery and going to meetings.
It’s not a perfect solution, but it helps me to stay safe and keep myself sane. This does not always guarantee he stays sober nor does it always mean he’ll go to rehab right away. it simply puts me in a position where I’m taking care of myself regardless of what he is doing. In my experience, he always goes when he’s ready or hitting a bottom. your S/O may choose to go or he may not. taking care of yourself needs to be number one. Only you can know if it’s time to take a break, move, or leave
What can you do about your situation? How are you taking care of you’re self? Are you ready to be completely done or are you trying to use leaving as an ultimatum? Do you live with him? if so, is there a place you can go? Can you get him to leave? Are you safe?