Please give me some clarity


#1

My boyfriend just entered a detox program today to withdrawal from opioid they said he will only be there for at most 7 days. I feel so sad about all of this. 1) this morning driving him there he was on day 2 of not using anyrhing, I saw all the pain he was in and I’m hurting sitting home just thinking of it. I know he needs this, he knows he needs this but I just have all my emotions out of control and I have to wait till Monday to hear from him. He had live with me for the past 5 months so I’m also anxious about tonight. Im just extremely worried he’s in a lot of pain
2) When he does call me, I should be 100% supportive right? I don’t want him to worry about me at home and just focus on himself, although we have a completely open communication relationship so I’m so used to just telling him how I’m feeling

Idk if this was the right thread to post in I’m so anxious typing this. Thanks!


#2

Hi @Stargirlxo thanks for sharing <3
I know this is a late response so likely the situation has changed but I want to share some thoughts and support. And we’d also love to hear how things are going now and how you got through this challenging week?
I’m sure many of us can relate to that feeling of being at home while our loved one is (maybe finally) in some kind professional care. Like you said, feeling all the emotions of relief, worry, aloneness and what comes with that, there’s probably also sort of a loss at not having that person there because as bad as things may get and how much we step up care for them, they are our person and do provide some comfort for us.

It’s natural to still feel worried even though they’re in some care now. Oftentimes we’ve been worrying for so long that we don’t know how to not worry, and because recovery takes time it’s also hard to know when we’re able to relinquish that worry.

Couple thoughts on that: when they’re in professional care, it’s a great time to rest and when we’re ready, step up our taking care of ourselves - whatever that looks like for you.

When he does call you - yes be as supportive as you can muster, prepare yourself that he may stopping using is tough, there’s a lot going on physically and mentally, and that may present as coming across noticeably irritable, impatient, detached, or with attention elsewhere.

I think when we’re in relationships it’s important to let the other person know how we feel and still prepare ourselves that there may not be much they can do to help right now, and so sharing information with that in mind might be a good idea, not expecting too much. Over time as more healing takes place we can expect more.

When communicating, you’ll likely have best luck when using positive communication tips - I’ll find an example from a previous post for you!

Oh and one more thing, you might like our course, group and coaching offerings as while he works on his recovery it can help to have support and skills to also heal (I know you’ve been through a lot) and work through our role in this relationship <3