Plans for coming back from rehab…


#1

Has anyone else struggled with ho to help their partner when they come back from rehab?
I feel like we come up with a plan and then it changes every other week?.. He still hasn’t left yet… for the time being he moved into his moms house until he comes back so that he doesn’t easily get triggered… we’ve hungout since and tbh he has slept over 2 times but as soon as the next day he goes back to his moms so we play it safe… it’s hard we both don’t want to be away from each other but also it’s true that
some days he will be doing good and then he will get triggered by something even if we aren’t together and of course automatically he goes into saying that we should live separately until he heals and although maybe that’s a good thing I’m selfish about it… we’ve lived together for 2 years and when he comes back I just imagined we can go on living together again… I just got a new job and he has one lined up for when he gets back and I’m planning on moving from where we are and getting a new place to also help the transition and then hopefully we can live together … I pray that he will be good again once he goes to rehab and will miss me and come back. I feel so vulnerable.


#2

Hi @Nicole082793, thanks for sharing here. That’s wonderful to hear your partner is getting help. How are you doing today?

Post rehab and early recovery is a very difficult time. When my husband came back from rehab I was so hopeful that things would just go back to the way things were. But our lives changed, and recovery had to become a big part of both of our daily lives. Years later and I am still practicing the tools of recovery that I’ve learned through therapy, Al-Anon, group support. The best way you can help your partner through early recovery is to take care of yourself. Just because he may need space and time to heal doesn’t mean your relationship is over. Take time to examine what’s coming up for you right now. You can’t control his behaviors or actions but you can control your own.

I remember my therapist told me that the first year of recovery would be very focused on him. That it would be his priority and that I may have to pick up some of the slack at home. That our lives would shift to make room for his healing. And somehow I was supposed to make space for my healing as well. It’s a lot of work for everyone involved, but I’m happy to say that despite slips every so often, our relationship is stronger now that it was before active addiction and recovery.

Sending love and hope!