Hi @Eliza52585. Oh man, such a difficult topic. First off, that is wonderful news that your husband admitted himself into rehab and is getting the help he needs. And that YOU are getting the help you need. This community is just a start - please look into resources like Course as @Jane mentioned, as well as groups like Al-Anon, self-care practices like exercise, meditation, journaling, support circles, anything that resonates with you and brings you peace, joy, growth.
Second, no one can answer that question for you. Only you can. If you search deep, I think you will find it.
I can, however, let you know about my experience, and maybe it will help. My husband is recovering from heroin addiction, and has also struggled with alcohol. He tried heroin the first time when we were dating, and got himself help. He didn’t touch the stuff for years after, and in the meantime, we got married and had a child. He is a wonderful father. I have absolutely no regrets. Even after my husband relapsed hard when our son was a year and a half, and I questioned whether or not to stay with him, I still have no regrets. His love for his family helped him recover, and our recovery journey has helped us become better parents.
We only have one child. I questioned whether we should have another. Most couples I know have their second child when their first is about 2 or 3. When my son was that age, we were still healing. It wasn’t a good time. My gut told me no, and so we waited. I trusted the process and knew that things would work out the way they needed to. When the time came and we thought we were ready, I still questioned it. What if he relapsed? How could I go through that trauma again with two children this time? I kept asking myself and I kept telling myself yes, I wanted this. I felt it in my whole body. So we tried, we are trying, for another. This time around is not as easy as the first, and I don’t know if it will happen. And if it doesn’t, then so be it.
A child changes a relationship, any relationship, whether addiction is involved or not. Sometimes people are completely sober when they have a kid and such a huge life change drives them to alcoholism. The “mommy wine” culture certainly doesn’t help. It doesn’t make them bad parents. And then I’ve met adult children of alcoholics in Al-Anon who are still recovering from the results of growing up in alcoholic households. The effects can be damaging, yes, but recovery is possible for everyone.
Trust your gut. Let go of expectations. Whatever happens, it’s going to be okay.
You can find related threads here and here. Sending love.