Yesterday, my husband got drunk, took his son, and left for the night. I tried to call him, and asked him to come back or to bring his son to his mom’s house if he was going to be drinking, but he refused, and wouldn’t answer my calls. I didn’t know what to do or who to call, so I called his sister (one of my best friends), and confided in her as someone who loves him too. His family has been under the impression that he’s been sober for the past 2 years (he hasn’t), and I haven’t told them up until now out of respect for my husband’s wishes, and trying to give him agency over how he wants to eventually recover.
Now his sister and his parents know (as far as I know no one else in his family knows), and are obviously concerned and want him to be well, but he is PISSED at me. I imagine he’s dealing with all sorts of shame and vulnerability, etc., but basically he’s told me it’s over, and to get out of the house, and never come back (I’m now staying with my mom for the time being)
I know in my heart that I didn’t purposely out him to try to control the situation, or him/his recovery (but obviously that’s what he thinks), and I really just needed some support in the moment and advice from someone that I knew would support and love HIM as much as I could.
Now I’m wondering, was I out of line? I am grieving right now, and I know he’s not himself while he’s under the influence, and that anger is normal and to be expected, but my heart hurts so so much.