How to protect my husband from his brother, while supporting their relationship?



My husband and I got very involved with helping his brother out a few years back with his heroin addiction. It was a traumatizing period and it in some ways likely contributed to setting off my husband’s addiction further.

My husband is now 3 years post-rehab and doing better and better. During this recovery period he has shied away from communicating with his brother because, though he is also doing better, it is very stressful for him and we don’t know how well he is really doing. There’s always signs that make him worried and he lives in another country so it’s easy to miss overlapping times to talk.

Now since his brother is not showing up to the family holiday he’s talking about visiting him in the new year. I want my husband to reconnect with his brother and be supportive to him as I firmly believe connection is the opposite of addiction, but I also am concerned about them being together and my not being there to protect him - if I was there I could help him debrief feelings at the end of the day or simply provide the grounded calm through a hug or touch that can really help.

I believe I should let this unfold but how might I help prepare him to face this hurricane that is his brother head on?