How often to check in?

mom
alcohol

#1

I’m about to begin my last semester of undergrad and things are about to be super busy. My mom recently went through a few slip-ups with her alcohol addiction, and my siblings and I teamed up to help her find some solutions.
I want to keep up to date with her progress on how she’s doing with her progress, and give her a call every now and then, but I don’t want to bring up the subject so much that it makes my mom feel annoyed or sad. At the same time, I don’t want to let my anxiety over the subject prevent me from going weeks without checking in, which I’ve done in the past.

How do you build the courage to really connect with your loved one about their hardships? How often should I be reaching out?


#2

@ashleykm3 is there a way you can chat with her without directly bringing it up and get your answers/a vibe from that? Or take her to lunch or something if you’re in the same city?


#3

Honesty is the best policy! We can push our loved ones into a dark place because we beat around the bush, that will send all kinds of mixed messages . My suggestion to you is be real, tell her our proud of her that you want to be part of her journey… <3


#4

Last night my dad sent me a text message that said, “Hey, can I ask you to give me a call?” which felt kind of formal or cryptic. I was at book club so I didn’t see his text until late. I called him right away, concerned, and he basically was just calling to catch up and told me he was concerned because he hadn’t heard from me in a little over a week! This was a good reminder to me that I should definitely be checking-in regularly - when you start to worry the person you’re worried about! I try to reach out at least once a week whether via text or phone - and the consistency (theoretically, when I am actually consistent) helps keep me kinda of clued in about what might or might not be happening with re: substance use, mental health etc. I really only ask directly once in awhile now.