Hey guys, I am currently trying to go through a recovery of my own and was on 23 days clean however I slipped up on Friday night and since then I’ve been really beating myself up any tips on how to bounce back?
Hey @Adammassie89 congrats on working at your own recovery and 23 days is an awesome start!
Sorry to hear you had a slip up on Friday, I know how frustrating that can be.
I’ve never been through my own recovery from substance addiction but I stood by my husband as he went through his so I can share my point of view on what was helpful there.
Two things: Know it takes time and slip-ups happen. And enroll your family and friends in the journey with you - regain the connections that will be invaluable to your journey through recovery!
I start with ‘Know it takes time and slip-ups happen.’ because firstly my expectations where completely out of whack with recovery. It takes time for the brain to heal and the triggers to dim down and your coping muscles to strengthen. Friday night - perhaps was a time when you used to regularly use so it makes sense during those times it can be harder! That’s where the next point comes in.
Support and connection: I wholeheartedly believe that by engaging friends and family in recovery we can all heal together, we can diminish the stigma of it and we can support you through those tough and maybe triggering times.
Are there people in your life supporting you through this? This is actually exactly why we created this community so that the concerned and loving friends and family can learn how to be the best support to you. Would you consider inviting any of them in here? We’d love to walk alongside you all in this <3
Let me know if any of the above makes sense.
Oh and we have a little guide (Make A Change) that we developed (based on the evidence-based CRAFT methodology) to help identify patterns in substance usage so we can work on changing them. It’s written in the point of view of the family/friends but could be useful for you too. Maybe you could work through it with a friend/family member you trust. What do you think?
This might be a good guide to prep/plan for the next Friday night or whatever times were the ones when you tended to use more.
PS. We often use this parallel example to break down the stigma about slip-ups. Think about any habit you might try to change. Going to the gym every day, or quitting sugary treats (cake etc.) it’s likely that in making a resolution around these habit changes we’ll slip up once and a while. New habits take a while to stick so know that those 23 days count and so does today! One day at a time and keep focused on why you’re making the change because it’s such a great one to make. Truly so happy you’re on this journey. Sending all the <3
And one other thing I wish I had known before, the come down from a period of substance use (maybe people call this a hangover) can often feel like depression. Knowing this can help you acknowledge how and WHY you might feel a bit more down at this time and why to be extra caring with yourself during this time. It will pass. Please be kind to you <3<3
Let me ask you two simple questions,
Can you change the past?
And what are you doing now?
Looking forward to your responses <3
OK, so you know what you need to do, we can not allow our past to determine our future, So that being said, focus on the right here right now. NO one can take the clean time you had away, do you slipped up oh well… Move on, get back up on your horse and keep moving forward!! YOU can do it , <3
Well I have been sitting around in my bedroom feeling sorry for myself, butttt I have just been for a run then cleaned the house and feeling a little more like I’ve got what it takes to sort this out!
Thanks for the reply
Hey @Adammassie89, thanks so much for this brilliant question. The first thing that comes to mind for me is the movie Beautiful Boy that I just recently watched! It’s about a father’s struggle with coming to terms with his son’s substance use (I’d highly recommend!). Throughout the movie, you really see how addiction is not a straight line— just when the son begins to do really well in rehab, he goes out to a party and relapses. It becomes a cycle that begins to get very frustrating for his father, who doesn’t understand it. But one key line during the movie comes from the father when he hears relapse is part of recovery!
You are on the right track! You aren’t perfect, just like the rest of us, and relapses are a common part of your path to healing. There will be hiccups along the way. When a relapse happens, that’s your body and mind telling you that you need a little love. So instead of planting seeds of anger and feeling sorry for yourself, actually give yourself a hug and do something nice for yourself. Make yourself feel loved and give your relapse the space it occupied, then let it go. You are more than a relapse. <3
I haven’t seen the movie Beautiful Boy yet, but I read the book and it was incredibly helpful. I recommend it to everyone! Recovery often includes multiple tries, slip ups and relapses. It’s a long process for some, but it’s important to never stop trying!
Thank you so much for your kind words! <3