How do I leave the relationship?

relationship

#1

Use this category to ask & share about your physical, mental, and emotional well-being - your personal experience supporting someone through addiction.

Suggested use -
What emotions are you experiencing?
How are you taking care of yourself?


#2

Hi @Kimba - That’s a tough question that ultimately only you can answer for yourself. I’d say start with asking yourself what you need, and what you can do and control to honor those needs. Trust your gut.

Thanks for being here. Sending love. :pray::sparkles:


#4

@Kimba - Al-Anon is a wonderful community if you’re able to find a good group. I go to a couple of meetings in my area every week, and have been working with a sponsor for almost a year. Al-Anon really helped me to let go of outcomes and welcome spirituality into my life - something I had closed off for a long time. You should definitely try it out again. Check out a few meetings if you can, and please let us know here how it works out! Even just getting some literature to take home and read when you’re feeling anxious can be so helpful.

That is a huge step. I would wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed all the time. It’s the worst feeling. He would typically be in the garage, nodding off. I would usually go out there and try to get him to bed. The anxiety would keep me up all night, and checking on him would often turn into fights. Finally, instead of worrying, I would say the Serenity Prayer instead. I would replace the negative thoughts with something positive, and recognize what I could and could not control. I started sleeping a lot better. And eventually, after a lot of work and patience, now when I wake up he’s sleeping next to me. Every time I wake up and he’s next to me, I am so grateful. I’ve even just started saying Thank You at random times during the day, as a prayer. Thank you. :pray::sparkles:


#3

Ah, You reminded me what to do in another post. Trust my gut. Add that to the facts and I certainly have an answer. Action would be my next step.

Like tonight, I woke up a few minutes ago. He’s not home but I know where he is. h
He’s in a hotel. What I want to do is go to the hotel and stay with him (truly I don’t know why, other than I’m that needy, and habit)
But instead, I checked this forum. I think/hope I’ve read enough that I’ll just go back to bed and if I do it will be a huge step for me.

I may try attending Alanon again. I feel like I’m in my addiction and he’s he drug. It’s that ridiculous. He once said that I couldn’t leave him because I was addicted to the chaos. I suppose that’s true but eventually there is a moment that will come and if I take action at that moment I break free.

Thank you for the reply @momentsandlight


#5

@momentsandlight Your last two sentences. Wonderful!