I’ve been feeling really down recently and it has a lot to do with where I think my boyfriend is at in his recovery. He’s doing well for the most part but I always have those feelings creep in or wondering whether or not he’s using or wondering if he’s lying to me. Every time I think something is up and I say something, my boyfriends gets extremely upset at me for not trusting him. I’ve explained to him I am doing my best to trust him but the healing process takes a long time.
We just got into a big fight today and he tried to break up with me because he said he’s tired of having the same fight over and over again. I explained that I’m simply just trying to understand where his head is at or what he’s feeling because he never shares any of it with me. He told me he doesn’t ever want to talk about his mental health or my mental health in relation to his addiction or recovery. He feels that it is too sensitive of a topic to discuss with each other ever.
I checked and he is not using but his behavior is so defensive and it concerns me. I don’t really know what to do. We both want to marry each other but it’s so difficult for me to communicate anything to him.