Maybe she wants to be your GhoulFriend,
Who knows? People are complicated. You sound like a worthwhile person. If you can solve your things and she can solve hers then maybe like the great TV Afterschool Special you can get back together and it’ll be perfect.
Fetanyl? … Yikes, No Picnic! from what I hear around the boneyard, and a potential family of in-laws that are all substance use disorder types? … Yikes, No Picnic Plus! Full disclosure- all my family, who I love dearly every last one, has loss and pain and suffers, and handles it poorly some times and better other times.
Who knows? Talk to a professional and find out what makes you tick, that’s the only thing you can really do much about. Or you can take The Course. It’s a lot of learning over a period of time. I liked that because it gave me time to think about what we were learning and then kind of “report back” on how it went. Although I took the course last year I still practice the communication techniques I learned in the class.
Once upon a time I thought people went to rehab and were healed. When counselors would say, “Relapse is part of Recovery,” I thought, “not my son, He has it beat. No siree.” And they were right. I’ve had eight years of personal work to do to help me navigate a whole boatload of things that I was doing/thinking/not doing etc to help myself Regardless of whether or not he chooses sobriety. Who knows? Will it stick? I don’t know.
Good luck to you I send you well wishes. I hope you find the connection and love you need and want.