I have been dating my partner, who struggles with substance abuse, for close to 4 years now. It’s been anything but easy, with a few break ups/breaks throughout that timespan. In the last 4 years, I’ve been lucky enough to have worked with an amazing CRAFT therapist (you know who you are!) who truly helped me learn how to navigate the windy road of being the loved one of an addict.
Something I’ve never seen talked about on here is the confusion (and, often, anger) that comes with being close to someone who is a “functioning” addict. By functioning, I mean they lead relatively normal lives and only a handful of people know of their serious struggles.
My partner is a great boss, a better boyfriend than he has been in the past, a good brother and son. So much so, that he’s very good at hiding a very, very serious addiction.
My confusion and anger stem from the disconnect that happens when on the outside (to his employees, friends, family) an addict can appear “okay” - even incredible and successful, but to those on the inside (mainly just me), they’re the ones who see struggles, the “bad/terrible days” and those moments that would make anyone think “who WOULDN’T notice what’s happening.”
I know I can’t control others, nor is it my responsibility, but I find it frustrating that so many people are unaware of what to me is so obvious.
I’d love to know if anyone else has had a similar circumstance and feel a little less alone in these thoughts.
Sending love + light to all xx