Boyfriend of 3 years, been trying to stay clean for the past year and a half - relapse over and over again. After a blow out in April where he was away and relapsed using cocaine and calling escorts “just for the rush” and not meeting them(?), he used oxycotin here and there as well. After this, as a major point where I moved out all of my things from our apartment - from what I know he has been clean and wanting to be - but the morning of my birthday in august, we were away together, he was in the bathroom and I felt suspicious Bc I could see through the crack of the door and he was bent towards in the counter. I opened the door and he was about to snort an OxyContin. The morning of my birthday! He immediately discarded of it and told me he found it in the corner of one of his travels bags the night before and kept it thinking about it all night. He said he went into “default mode” and just began to crush the pill to snort without thinking. He claims thank God I stopped him because that would have ruined his “clean streak” since April. I am crushed and lost so much more trust in him that we have been working to build. He tells me how committed he is to being clean and this was the first time he found a pill and didn’t know how to react in his presence, claiming now if it ever happened again then he would just not touch it and tell me or his sponsor first
Anwys, after this all happened, he was just crying and then another half of a pill fell out of the bag and he began crying more saying how bad this is making him look but states he did not know that was in there and truly didn’t pack any with him for the trip. I am suspicious. He called his sponsor after and has apologized endlessly stating he wants to attend more meetings and is “happy he is still clean since I stopped him”… for me, moving forward is so hard when I am scares this can happen again or if he is lying? I love him and I fear so much over this life after trying to be there with him through his going on since October 2019. Any advice from this whole situation? Can he stay clean from just attending meetings?