Does addiction kill the ability to love?

husband

#1

If you could share from experience. Is it possible to learn to love again? Is there a way to help my husband to learn to love again? Why does substance abuse change ppl in such a way that most of them claim they don’t love their mother/wife etc. ? Thanks.


#2

This is how I understand it - in layman’s terms :slight_smile:
Substances flood chemicals into our brains and bodies, they produce responses in our pleasure system and when those substances are removed or no longer used the systems that have been overly flooded by them are depleted, need time to heal and begin reproducing the feel good chemicals themselves. This can take a really long time. It can be intense early on as well. My husband was VERY depressed when he stopped using cocaine which made it even harder for him to stay stopped!
When my boyfriend returned home from rehab I thought finally we’ll be able to have the relationship I wanted. It took a year for him to get back to enjoying regular daily activities. And lucky for us so far it’s been getting better slowly but surely ever since.
Over time they need to learn new ways to cope with feelings they in the past have numbed - depending on how deep, troubling these are and what sort of coping systems existed before the substance addiction. This process could use some support from professionals (therapy or other groups).

Does that make sense?


#4

The more I think about it the more I come to the conclusion we do need to attend some sort of support group. Now how do I make him understand it is important to attend it? Cause he denies the need to attend one:(


#5

Could you find some common ground with him? Something you both agree you want to work on together and brainstorm together ways to work on it (support group might be one of your contributions :)).


#7

@polly common ground like playing pool lol ::joy: in terms of therapy I don’t think so. He always makes his own decisions about anything. Hard to ask for anything… never admits he needs some else’s help. He’s been sober 7 yrs and considers that his greatest pride…