Hi everybody, I originally joined the Village community to offer some advice as my boyfriend is a recovering heroin addict and we have been through quite the journey together for almost 3 years. I have learned A LOT about addiction and learned how I can be the best support for him and love him without enabling. He went to rehab, got the help he needed, and moved in with me last summer. He was doing really well and all his friends were even telling me that this is the best they have ever seen him as he has struggled with addiction for more than 10 years. Something that concerned me for a while was that he slowly stopped going to meetings but I was glad that he was still keeping in touch with his rehab friends for accountability.
I was pretty hesitant about joining the Village but I was pushed to join sooner as I caught my boyfriend using a few days ago. He had been doing so well… he had been clean for 18 months which is the longest he has ever been clean. He told me he had only used 2-3 other times because he had been stressed about finances and the holidays. He also has a really bad back that causes him a lot of pain. I tried my best to react out of love and not anger. It was extremely disappointing and I am hurt once again because he broke my trust. We talked for a long time and came to the agreement that he will go to a meeting every day for the next 30 days, find an extracurricular activity/hobby, and talk to a doctor about his back.
I’ve gone through relapses with him before but this one felt a little different because he admitted right away and talked to me about coming up with a plan to keep him from using again. It’s hard to believe anything he says when he’s using but I was glad that he didn’t get defensive and run off like he has done in the past. He admitted right away so I’m hoping this is just a little slip-up along his road to long term recovery. I am really stressing about this whole situation. I know recovery isn’t perfect but it is still hard because I’m not sure if his mind is really in the right place. I’m afraid that he’ll just go back to using full-time again.
Anyways, that was a much longer post than I planned on but I hope somebody else can relate and offer any advice.